margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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