Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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