I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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