just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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