Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
