Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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