If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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