I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
