8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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