Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
