So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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