i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
