We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
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Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
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HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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