Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
