talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
40s are totally the cure
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
