Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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