I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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