The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
