it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
