$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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