when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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