I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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