yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
