My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize