Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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