And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
