Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
