do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
