wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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