Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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