If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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