the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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