just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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