i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
