ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
