My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So. Much. Porn.
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