Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
