I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
