I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
