So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
