omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
handjob tips. give me some.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
