You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
