I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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