She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
