You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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