I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
