Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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