Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
