that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
