I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
