So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
