it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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