Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
