Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
