just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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