Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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