Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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