Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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