Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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