How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
