im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
